Missoula has been experiencing a rash of squirrel-death of late and, despite our healthy population of the little buggers, I wonder if come wintertime there will be any squirrels left. There are squirrels lying dead under trees on campus, squirrel bodies lining every street, squirrel pelts in the middle of the roads getting flatter and flatter with each car that drives over them. The other morning on the side of River Pines Road there was a... like, a, well, it had been raining, so the squirrel was wet, but it also kind of looked like it had been skinned. I'm sure it was very juicy and teeming with fauna. It smelled bad.
Want to hear the grossest story ever? Okay! A couple weeks ago at the mouth of a driveway I saw a squirrel whose back half had been squashed, you know, half of it was pancaked and stuck to the road. But the front part was still okay AND STILL ALIVE. THIS POOR LITTLE SQUIRREL. Still trying to push itself up with its poor little arms, all it could do was sit there in Modified Plank Pose and hope to be rescued by a kind-hearted veterinarian who would give it an ostomy pouching system and some little contraption for it to wheel its flattened half around on. However, unfortunately for the squirrel, there was a crow - THERE WAS A CROW - and the crow had decided to put the poor bastard squirrel out of its misery. The crow was all, "Yum, fresh!" and the squirrel was all, "Oh god." The crow knocked the squirrel's front living half over, the squirrel pushed itself back up. The poor bastard, there was nothing it could do except maybe try to punch the crow with one of its poor little fuzzy mammal arms. I drove on, heartlessly. (Who am I to play god!) It kind of made me want to barf.
Hey, anyway. The running season is practically over, basically. Oh sure there's still the big race and stuff, but the biggest training run is done and it's all downhill from here. On Sunday we did 15 miles, but it turned out to actually be 15.35 miles, which can and should be rounded up to 15.4 miles, which, after a feat of clever mathematics, is pretty much 20, which is just a 10K shy of a full marathon. It was fine. The training has been pretty easy for me this year except for those two months of being sick and all that falling. I mean that the training has been easy for me structurally. My feet just started hurting a couple weeks ago - last year they hurt the whole time - and on Sunday my left hip started hurting. My left hip has never hurt before so that's pretty exciting. Also my right shin/ankle started hurting on Sunday, and today my calves are still sore. But other than this, I've been fine this year. Oh, also I have a black toenail again. Last year, in addition to the black toenail, I was limping around for a month or two, my right hip hurt so bad it was audible, I had achilles tendonitis for a few weeks at the beginning of the season, and I felt tired and beat up all the time. This year is better because I've turned to performance enhancing drugs.
Weather: It is now the summertime. Yesterday was very cold, very very cold. I wished I had gloves when I rode my bike to work, and I wished I had gloves when I rode home after work. I walked to the drug store in the evening for more performance enhancements and the sun came out and shone hotly upon the land and I got all sweaty, even my legs were sweaty. Then I went to Dairy Queen for a nut whip and got really cold. Whenever I order a nut whip they look at me funny. Hey, I didn't make up the name, it's not my fault.
LATE-BREAKING NEWS: So I'm at lunch today, right? And there's this crow flying high overhead cawwing its head off and being annoying, right? And there are these crows having a cawfest in a tree, right? And so I get done with lunch and I'm walking on an innocent sidewalk and the cawfest gets louder and louder and suddenly this crow drops out of the tree and lands in a rumpled splat on the ground right next to the sidewalk. Scares the crap out of me. The crow stands up and looks around, mouth agape. I stop and stare to see if it's going to die or attack me or what. It hopped away. Hopped away to die under a bush? Freaky.
P.S. Speaking of the beasts, and myself, you know how I got a bunch of scars because I kept falling this spring? And you know how there have been so many mosquitoes in Missoula? Well the mosquitoes apparently like scar tissue. I don't know why, they're morons.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
26. Mysteries, running, weather
HOT DAYS, COOL READING
For many months all I've been reading is books from the 1930s. It started with a Perry Mason book, and then a very bad murder mystery from England, and then some P.G. Wodehouses, and then Agatha Christie. Someday I will venture forth to another decade but not yet. Last week I went to the library and checked out more 1930s books - Agatha Christies and another Perry Mason. It wasn't all that easy to stay within my preferred decade - there are many from the '50s and that won't do at all. I don't know why I'm reading 1930s books but I am and I like it. I went to a thrift store the other day and got Brave New World so that's on the list for when I get sick of murder and jewel theft. (I also got a math textbook from 1907 and it's fascinating and promises hours packed with fun. There's a page of subtraction problems and it says to try to finish them all under 13 minutes - that's actually why I bought the book. I ran home and did them in 14.5 minutes but I'll get down to 13, I will. I learned about greatest common denominators last night. Hours of fun!)
However! Now that I'm finally enjoying my secular life, reading fun books and having not a care in the world, the following horrible things have thrust themselves upon me: 1. I will be presenting at an academic conference in August. 2. I will be teaching a class Fall Semester. This means I will be stressed out from now until December and I will only be able to read boring horrible academic crap. 1930s, goodbye. It is flummoxing and heart-wrenching for me, as I'd thought I retired from academia two years ago. There is a very real chance that 1. I get rejected for the conference, and 2. the contract for the teaching job doesn't go through - we can only hope. If either happens, or both, I will feel sad/embarrassed for a second but will then happily go back to my book to find out who kidnapped the prime minister and why they're taking such pains to keep him alive. And so, also, I'm "looking" for a part-time job, which means I'm not really looking.
DETECTIVE
Last week my Griz Card and my coffee card and my extra house key all mysteriously vanished one night under highly suspicious circumstances. I, as you now know, have been reading copious detective novels, and I have learned quite a few tricks, quite a few tricks indeed. Obviously the three items had been thieved from my room that night, and they were either still together or had been sold individually. I was gathering clues when, a few days later, I found my extra key hidden under an envelope in the place where I keep my extra key. So I deduced that the key had not been part of the purloining. Then, one morning, I put on my pants and found in the right-hand pocket, along with some hair clips, my Griz Card. And so the thief had been after my coffee card all along, had stolen the Griz Card to deflect suspicion, and had then returned it to throw me off. I am not so easily duped, of course, and was getting very close to solving the mystery when I found my coffee card in a pile of very important papers. The thief had been frightened by my sleuthing, obviously, and had been unsuccessful at selling my coffee card on the black market.
MISSOULA HOODS
South Central, where I live (actually North Ave West), is full of concrete, urbanity, yard-tending neighbors, and mosquitoes. I don't know where the mosquitoes have come from because there's no water anywhere, but they've come and they've come in swarms. I went out to look at my tomatoes last night and the mosquitoes swarmed me so badly (I could hear them yelling to each other, "She's over here, very juicy!") I had to run back inside after two minutes. This is very sad, because these are the longest days of the year and I'm forced to spend them indoors.
LONGEST DAYS OF THE YEAR
Tomorrow will be 9 seconds longer than today - remember when each day was like 3 minutes longer than the previous? That was great. It's light until very late at night now. How late? I have no idea, because I'm always in bed by then. I don't know why, but I've been going to bed at 9:30 lately. I wake up at 5, which is annoying, blah blah.
ALL ABOUT THE RUN ON SUNDAY
We went up the Rattlesnake and it was beautiful (no mosquitoes of course - the Rattlesnake is heaven). I just deleted some sentences detailing our training plan because it was too boring. Anyway, things are going well and I'm on track to totally win the race, or, barring that, do better than last year.
ALL ABOUT THE RUN YESTERDAY
7:40 pace, avg. It had stopped raining, mostly, and everything smelled good.
COMPUTING
Do you have the Sims 3 yet? I don't either! I'm going to have to buy more memory first. Memory is cheap.
WHAT TO DO FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY
I haven't decided yet, but the Missoula Outdoor Cinema season starts the night before, and the Big Sky Film Series has a film that night too, and it's totally possible to do both, and you know how I'm a sucker for a film series. But there's no place better than Sandpoint for the Fourth of July. One year I stayed in Seattle instead of going home and I did laundry that day and it was so unpatriotic and depressing I'm sure I cried all day. Who does laundry on the Fourth of July? Only libs and commies, that's who. And concrete-dwellers! ('concrete-dweller' is the hot new insult in Missoula.) In my hometown there's a parade and fireworks and horses clipclopping past my window in the morning, not to mention a lake and mountains and food and watermelon - so much better than Missoula. But no outdoor movie. While I was typing this I decided what to do. Thanks for listening.
For many months all I've been reading is books from the 1930s. It started with a Perry Mason book, and then a very bad murder mystery from England, and then some P.G. Wodehouses, and then Agatha Christie. Someday I will venture forth to another decade but not yet. Last week I went to the library and checked out more 1930s books - Agatha Christies and another Perry Mason. It wasn't all that easy to stay within my preferred decade - there are many from the '50s and that won't do at all. I don't know why I'm reading 1930s books but I am and I like it. I went to a thrift store the other day and got Brave New World so that's on the list for when I get sick of murder and jewel theft. (I also got a math textbook from 1907 and it's fascinating and promises hours packed with fun. There's a page of subtraction problems and it says to try to finish them all under 13 minutes - that's actually why I bought the book. I ran home and did them in 14.5 minutes but I'll get down to 13, I will. I learned about greatest common denominators last night. Hours of fun!)
However! Now that I'm finally enjoying my secular life, reading fun books and having not a care in the world, the following horrible things have thrust themselves upon me: 1. I will be presenting at an academic conference in August. 2. I will be teaching a class Fall Semester. This means I will be stressed out from now until December and I will only be able to read boring horrible academic crap. 1930s, goodbye. It is flummoxing and heart-wrenching for me, as I'd thought I retired from academia two years ago. There is a very real chance that 1. I get rejected for the conference, and 2. the contract for the teaching job doesn't go through - we can only hope. If either happens, or both, I will feel sad/embarrassed for a second but will then happily go back to my book to find out who kidnapped the prime minister and why they're taking such pains to keep him alive. And so, also, I'm "looking" for a part-time job, which means I'm not really looking.
DETECTIVE
Last week my Griz Card and my coffee card and my extra house key all mysteriously vanished one night under highly suspicious circumstances. I, as you now know, have been reading copious detective novels, and I have learned quite a few tricks, quite a few tricks indeed. Obviously the three items had been thieved from my room that night, and they were either still together or had been sold individually. I was gathering clues when, a few days later, I found my extra key hidden under an envelope in the place where I keep my extra key. So I deduced that the key had not been part of the purloining. Then, one morning, I put on my pants and found in the right-hand pocket, along with some hair clips, my Griz Card. And so the thief had been after my coffee card all along, had stolen the Griz Card to deflect suspicion, and had then returned it to throw me off. I am not so easily duped, of course, and was getting very close to solving the mystery when I found my coffee card in a pile of very important papers. The thief had been frightened by my sleuthing, obviously, and had been unsuccessful at selling my coffee card on the black market.
MISSOULA HOODS
South Central, where I live (actually North Ave West), is full of concrete, urbanity, yard-tending neighbors, and mosquitoes. I don't know where the mosquitoes have come from because there's no water anywhere, but they've come and they've come in swarms. I went out to look at my tomatoes last night and the mosquitoes swarmed me so badly (I could hear them yelling to each other, "She's over here, very juicy!") I had to run back inside after two minutes. This is very sad, because these are the longest days of the year and I'm forced to spend them indoors.
LONGEST DAYS OF THE YEAR
Tomorrow will be 9 seconds longer than today - remember when each day was like 3 minutes longer than the previous? That was great. It's light until very late at night now. How late? I have no idea, because I'm always in bed by then. I don't know why, but I've been going to bed at 9:30 lately. I wake up at 5, which is annoying, blah blah.
ALL ABOUT THE RUN ON SUNDAY
We went up the Rattlesnake and it was beautiful (no mosquitoes of course - the Rattlesnake is heaven). I just deleted some sentences detailing our training plan because it was too boring. Anyway, things are going well and I'm on track to totally win the race, or, barring that, do better than last year.
ALL ABOUT THE RUN YESTERDAY
7:40 pace, avg. It had stopped raining, mostly, and everything smelled good.
COMPUTING
Do you have the Sims 3 yet? I don't either! I'm going to have to buy more memory first. Memory is cheap.
WHAT TO DO FOR THE FOURTH OF JULY
I haven't decided yet, but the Missoula Outdoor Cinema season starts the night before, and the Big Sky Film Series has a film that night too, and it's totally possible to do both, and you know how I'm a sucker for a film series. But there's no place better than Sandpoint for the Fourth of July. One year I stayed in Seattle instead of going home and I did laundry that day and it was so unpatriotic and depressing I'm sure I cried all day. Who does laundry on the Fourth of July? Only libs and commies, that's who. And concrete-dwellers! ('concrete-dweller' is the hot new insult in Missoula.) In my hometown there's a parade and fireworks and horses clipclopping past my window in the morning, not to mention a lake and mountains and food and watermelon - so much better than Missoula. But no outdoor movie. While I was typing this I decided what to do. Thanks for listening.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
25. Q&A about weather, running
Q: What's been going on?
A: Lots, but nothing.
Q: How's the weather in Missoula?
A: Pretty great.
Q: How's the knees?
A: I haven't fallen in weeks.
Q: Where's the best place to run in Missoula?
A: Not east on the Kim Williams Trail.
Q: I saw your name in the paper!
A: Yeah, so I've heard.
Q: What books did you check out at the library the other day?
A: Some Agatha Christie and Perry Mason, and also a book about writing short stories from 1898.
Q: What's your problem?
A: I don't know.
Q: When does summer start?
A: Summer started on Wednesday. I made the official declaration while riding my bike downtown.
Q: Is that why it's gotten so cold suddenly?
A: That's ridiculous, you superstitious fool.
Q: Are you still saying you got sick this spring because you cut off your hair?
A: That's true, though.
Q: Found a new job yet?
A: No but am looking.
Q: How long till you find out whether your incredible receiver is irrevocably damaged or not?
A: A few days. I don't have high hopes.
Q: What's the best thing to get at Dairy Queen?
A: Chocolate nut whip.
Q: Is that real?
A: I don't know, but it's delicious.
A: Lots, but nothing.
Q: How's the weather in Missoula?
A: Pretty great.
Q: How's the knees?
A: I haven't fallen in weeks.
Q: Where's the best place to run in Missoula?
A: Not east on the Kim Williams Trail.
Q: I saw your name in the paper!
A: Yeah, so I've heard.
Q: What books did you check out at the library the other day?
A: Some Agatha Christie and Perry Mason, and also a book about writing short stories from 1898.
Q: What's your problem?
A: I don't know.
Q: When does summer start?
A: Summer started on Wednesday. I made the official declaration while riding my bike downtown.
Q: Is that why it's gotten so cold suddenly?
A: That's ridiculous, you superstitious fool.
Q: Are you still saying you got sick this spring because you cut off your hair?
A: That's true, though.
Q: Found a new job yet?
A: No but am looking.
Q: How long till you find out whether your incredible receiver is irrevocably damaged or not?
A: A few days. I don't have high hopes.
Q: What's the best thing to get at Dairy Queen?
A: Chocolate nut whip.
Q: Is that real?
A: I don't know, but it's delicious.
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