66. Apartment of horror

I moved to this apartment in June and things were super. In the summer, when it was quite hot outside and even hotter inside, I had the luxury of cable television, and in the evenings I would sweat in my chair by the window through which the sunset shone and watch Jersey Shore or Keeping Up With The Kardashians or movies about abduction on Lifetime. Halcyon days, really, which I will always think of with affection and longing.

Then in August the people downstairs moved out and no one moved in (except [SPOILER ALERT] mice!!! [see below]) and, while I no longer had free internet or television, I had the yard to myself and no downstairs neighbors to be mindful of. And so I started hosting barbecues and disco parties and staying up until the wee morning hours, playing loud music, stomping around and shouting, getting into fights etc. Also I was entrusted with a lawnmower and got to mow the lawn, which I quite enjoy.

Everything was fine! And then...!

First I found out that my toilet pipe is leaking downstairs. This is gross. Even if it's not leaking on me (which would be grosser).

Some guy named Nate is going to come over and rip up my bathroom later this week. It will take two days. He will balance my toilet on plywood in between days, so I can still use the bathroom. I look forward to this new life adventure.

But also! A few days ago I found mouse poo! On my large chair! I bought some mouse traps. (I haven't forgotten the trauma of last summer so I got the kind of trap where you don't have to see their dead spindly little mouse tails or the fur of their dead little mouse heads. These traps keep you quite removed from the gore of mammalian death.)

I innocently but fervently believed that I had been visited by only one mouse - a scout mouse who'd been sent by his mouse clan to find a warm place for them to live for the winter. His mission and his life were halted while I was out running a race on Sunday. But then unfortunately I found two more mouse turds. On my TABLE. So I bought more traps and now have three set for those bastards. I sleep very well at night.

I said to my landlords that I might borrow a cat but they laughed off the suggestion. I would press the issue further and insist on getting myself a cat but I'm not sure what I'd do with my cat when I go to Hawaii (or Austin, I could go to Austin).

Because a fine lady can never have too many blogs, I've started another. This one is on Wordpress and is very attractive. It has a purpose. I'll tell you about it later.

Sorry about all the adverbs?